For most of my life I’ve been a student of love, seeking to understand its mysteries and taste its sweetness. I’ve searched for love and found it elusive. So, I searched some more.
I imagine the universe smiling gently at us humans searching and searching for what already surrounds us and is always within us - smiling gently at our apparent blindness to our lovability and love-ability - gently inviting us to search less and find more.
I’ve come to believe that the search for love signals a mistrust of love. In our yearning to experience love, we try to control it. When we search for love in this fashion, we closely watch the other, focusing on how he/she orients toward us. This expectant focus creates pressure in a relationship - a subtle force-field that impedes the free-flow of love. We view love as a scarce commodity – and this scarcity belief becomes self-fulfilling. The search for love begins with mistrust and ends with mistrust confirmed.
A friend recently wrote: “Look in the mirror and love all that you see.” More clearly than ever before, life teaches me that it is my job to love me – my job to see the love that is within me and all around me – and, eventually, to realize that love is who I am. To quote my mentor, Richard Moss: “You are, already, that which you seek.”
As I soften to love and relax into its unavoidability, love from all sources outside of me comes naturally - a free gift, over which I have no control and for which I am deeply grateful. The more I open to love’s flow, the more I receive and radiate its abundance and the more I experience love’s economy as luxurious and luscious.
I suspect that many of us have been focusing too intently on love. Instead, let’s orient toward joy, service and fullness of life in the present moment - and let go of fretting about love.
Let’s trust love.