Skip to main content
James Bryer Ph.D.  Softening to LoveServicesJames Bryer Media ResourcesJames Bryer Softening EventsWisdomsAbout James Bryer and Softening to LoveContact James Bryer
Latest Posts

Thursday, May 30 2019

Vibrating Light 


         The Guarani, a deeply spiritual indigenous tribe living in South American rain forests (Paraguay, Uruguay, Brazil and Argentina), have a healing tradition that is passed down through the generations and is grounded in the healing power of love.  From the Guarani perspective, each of us is an energy field of light and love. 


         Elizabeth Cosmos writes of her experience with the practice of Ama-Deus, a healing approach rooted in Guarani spirituality.  Here’s a passage that speaks to me:


         “The main point in our evolution is to view and know life from a spiritual or energetic perspective.  The indigenous people and the mystics understand this and safeguard it with their lives, and now, some scientists are building a language for the subtle fields.  We are finely vibrating oscillating bodies of light interwoven with the electromagnetic bodies of others, of the earth, and of the Universe.


         As we learn this language and perceive from the heart, the veil of separation will dissolve.  There is no separation in the physical world and the spiritual world.  Viewing life from an energetic perspective sees all life as one, whether from the subtler spiritual planes or the denser physical material planes.  An energetic perspective simply gives a more complete picture, and this perspective follows that all life is sacred and intimately connected.”


Elizabeth Cosmos, Ama-Deus: Healing with the Sacred Energy of the Universe, pp. 154-5.

Posted by: AT 12:20 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Tuesday, May 21 2019

Liberating Love


         Human love, as commonly understood, is a messy affair.  It tends to spring from an evaluation of the beloved – what’s lovable and not so lovable in him/her.  It also evokes self-evaluation - questions about one’s capacity to love and worthiness to receive love.   


         From the perspective of young ego, love is exhilarating and dangerous - a high stakes venture, where the prize is precious and the risks, devastating.  Egoic love is entangled with, and strangled by, fear and judgment.


         We fear being rejected or abandoned or cheated or used/abused by the other. We fear the humiliation of self-judgment when love is unrequited.  No wonder we hold back.  No wonder we self-protect.  No wonder we become strategic and controlling.


         At another level, none of this angst is necessary.  At this deeper level, love is neither scarce nor dangerous.  It’s the energy that holds everything together – from atoms to families to this planet.  It’s abundant and unavoidable - the energy of everything, the energy of who we are. 


         At this level, the flow of love is natural and effortless.  Navigating human interactions may still be complex and confusing, but love is simple.  And, while love is a natural and effortless flow, it requires intentionality and persistent practice to make a more permanent shift away from the egoic paradigm of separation and scarcity. 


         Liberating love is a process - and I’m still a learner. While much has been written about this process – and much more could be – I offer three brief suggestions. 


         First of all, we need to realize that humanity can move beyond an egoic approach to love.  In this growth process, we humans typically move from “immature ego” (where we’re way out of balance - either overly preoccupied with self and disregarding of others or overly preoccupied with others and disregarding of self), to “mature ego” (where there is a healthy balance of care and regard for self and others), to immersion in the flow of universal, unconditional love – our true, natural state.


         Second, every day in a regular way, let’s declare our intention to soften and open to the flow of universal love.  My practice is to do so first thing in the morning, face-to-face in front of a mirror.  Often during the day, especially before important interactions, I remind myself of this commitment to flow.


         Third, let’s use our breath to practice being in the flow of love.  For example, we can inhale the energy of universal love from below, above, around and within; and then exhale love in every direction and especially toward what’s right before us. Sometimes, I picture golden light entering through every pore, gathering in my heart, and radiating out from my heart toward others.  Sometimes, as breathe in, I focus on a felt sense of love coming into my heart, then radiating outward as I exhale.  There are many ways to practice.  It’s important to find what works for us - and stick with it!


         When we approach relationship in the flow of universal love, we cannot be depleted, we cannot be cheated, we cannot lose ourselves.  We don’t become invincible or invulnerable.  We’re still human.  We still experience the full range of human emotion.  Ego, however, is not in the driver’s seat.  Flowing with universal love frees us from attachment to outcome and, ironically, allows us to have wonderful outcomes – powerful and positive effects on those around us.


         With persistent practice, receiving and radiating love becomes more habitual and more natural.  We move into harmony with our love nature.  We feel a deeper sense of integrity and connection – and peace.


         We liberate ourselves.   We liberate love.

Posted by: AT 01:53 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Thursday, May 09 2019

Love First


         I have long believed that if I want anything to change – in myself or in any situation I encounter – I must love it first.


         This brief piece of writing was shared in group last night.  (Thanks, Ann.)  Each time I read it, it deepens within me.  Maybe it will touch you, too.



         “In the end, so much of the conflict we feel in our hearts is because we’ve split ourselves off from the very life we are living. We partition ourselves from the things with which we are at odds, treating them as unbelonging even as we live them.


         “We vaguely imagine some other place, some better job, some other lover—but the irony is that so much of what makes us unhappy is our own rejection of the life we have made.


         “Eventually we must take our life into our arms and call it our own. We must look at it squarely, with all its unbecoming qualities, and find a way to love it anyway. Only from that complete embrace can a life begin to grow into what it is meant to become.”




         Excerpt from Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home by Toko-pa Turner (


Posted by: AT 11:34 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Wednesday, May 01 2019

Love the Body


         The roles have reversed.  In younger years, I told my body what to do and, generally, it complied.  Now, my 73-year-old body gives most of the orders, and I do the complying. 


         It’s my job to listen to the body – respectfully attending to its needs and requirements.  It’s been quietly taking care of me since before I was born.  Now it’s my turn to care for it.


         My body used to be more forgiving.  Now it’s more assertive.    It quickly lets me know when I overdo it or feed it badly or deny it the rest it needs.  It squawks when I slack off my stretching and exercise routines or neglect meditation and QiGong practices.


         Historically, when the body spoke to me in the language of pain and discomfort, I tended to react with irritation – essentially telling the body to stop complaining – unaware that I was sending messages of rejection and creating mistrust.


         Now I say: “thanks for telling me.”  I do my best to send compassion and love to whatever hurts inside me – sometimes using imagery, more often using the breath.  I inhale healing love into the painful place.  Exhaling, I release tension and unneeded energy.  


         When I’ve been cranky with my body - or critical or neglectful or disregarding - I apologize.  I do my best to repair any damage I do to this important relationship.


         We are in constant dialog with the body.  It speaks to us in so many ways.  And, with the choices we make and the tones we take, we speak volumes about our care – or lack thereof.


         The message matters.  Choose mindfully.  Love the body.

Posted by: AT 12:30 am   |  Permalink   |  Email

 "James has a very welcoming presence and an easy going demeanor in addition to an excellent sense of humor . We are all free to be our own goofy selves."

    James Bryer - Softening to Love
    copyright 2022 all rights reserved
    Site Design and Hosting By Metaphysical Websites