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Wednesday, April 04 2012

A Love Paradox


       Relationship has always seemed mysterious and paradoxical to me – a dance of otherness and oneness.  The paradox invites us to embrace gently these apparently contradictory aspects of the human condition, making space for them as we dance to the music of knowing and being known in the ballroom of love.


       Bija Bennett, a friend of mine and fellow student of Richard Moss, wrote Emotional Yoga, a wonderfully healing book that Wayne Dyer calls: "A brilliant design for emotional and spiritual stability".  In her chapter on love, she speaks to the paradox of relationship in a thought-provoking way.


       "Love is the glue that holds things together as well as the boundary that defines and separates them.  This discernment quality sees the difference between two things and holds them separate so that they may know each other.  One end of love is absolute separation.  The other end is absolute union.  In our relationships, we discern our differences so that we may know both ourselves and one another…

       "This concept of love is obviously different from any idea of romantic love.  But in order to have romantic or even spiritual love, you have to have discernment.  You can't just merge with someone or something.  No matter how close you are to someone, there is always something separating you.  And no matter how distant you are from someone, there is always a connection between you.  Love is a discernment quality, a recognition of the one and the other.  It is the nexus between two dissimilar things, and this connection breeds hope, faith, and the possibility of a future.  Although love acts as a unifying force between things, the strength of love lies in the differences."  (pp. 109-110)   


       Honor otherness.  Remember oneness. 


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